scary times

In just 3 days we will know what baby bubsie is (fingers cross it'll show us its goodies). This is a huge milestone for us because we then get to start planning everything! As of right now, all we have ever envisioned is a little bubsie in yellow. Not that i plan on converting to the pink only or blue only stereotypes, but it would at least be nice to be able to envision the future of this bundle of joy.

 

People usually say that the mother can "sense" what the baby will be, but i don't know if my hunch is right. It is certainly not what everyone else is predicting. haha. All i know is that i will be happy with either. I just want a healthy baby.

 

Most people do not know that this pregnancy has been a very scary one for us. At the beginning, i was so nervous that something would go wrong that i tried not to become too attached to the idea of having a baby.  Once i finally got over this fear and stupid notion, and became excited about our new addition,  something actually did go wrong, and it made it that much scarier.

 

Shortly after the clock struck midnight on Christmas morning in our tiny little apartment, Dan came rushing to the bathroom where i sat sobbing holding the blood-soaked toilet paper. I could not even talk as i just sat their sobbing while he tried to calm me down. We drove the half-mile to the emergency room and waited to see the fate of this baby i had become so attached to. This was the first time i got to see our baby bubsie, just merely a blob on the ultrasound. Baby was still alive and the bleeding subsided but they did find a subchorionic hemorrhage and told me this could happen again as it is unpredictable.  This was a very scary time for us. We knew bubsie was still alive inside, but the thought that this bleeding could happen again was terrifying. We went home relived and happy to celebrate our first married Christmas.

 

I know that bleeding is fairly common in pregnancies but unless this happens to you, you have no idea how scary it is. I'm sure some of you mommas reading this understand what I'm am talking about. We just kept praying for bubsie because there is really nothing else you can do. I had two additional scares with bleeding episodes but thank goodness bubsie was ok and we got to have some extra appointments just for reassurance.

 

Another scary situation that has been happening is concerning my blood work, more specifically my antibodies. One of my initial blood tests was flagged as abnormal and this instantly caused lots of questions, not just for dan and i, but also for our doctors. The antibodies that were appearing in my blood were not common and no one really knew what it all meant. I think by far that is the most frustrating part, especially when they have to tell you the worst case scenario. I am still being monitored frequently and have repeat blood work done every 3-4 weeks just to check. Hopefully at the ultrasound this week they will be able to give us more information on the antibody issue and check to see if it is affecting the babie's blood at all.

 

But there is really nothing you can do but wait and pray that baby bubsie will be healthy.

 

3 dyas! Time is flying by and we could not be more excited.

Kiss me hard before you go

"Kiss me hard before you go 

Wintertime sadness

I just wanted you to know 

That, baby, you're the best"

I dislike winter.

Don't get me wrong, I do love cooler days. Anyone who truly understands me knows that i hate sweating. My husband and I have to be the sweatiest couple known to this planet. I guess we were made for each other ;) . Back to the point, I don't like the weather that makes you wear coats. I hate having to take layers upon layers off, only to be covered with static electricity. 

I hate how dark it gets since daylight savings. 

Do you remember learning about SAD in psychology? I'm not saying I have "that", but I sure hate working during the only light parts of the day. The sun makes me happy. Nature makes me even happier, and I cant even enjoy it because there isn't any light out by the time i get home from work. 

I miss my husband.

I hate these weekend nights when they randomly assign him a night shift, when he works day shifts during the week. He then has to spend the other free day catching up on sleep. UGH?!?  At least I get to use this time to get cleaning done. Boy do we have a lot of laundry. I can't imagine throwing kids into the mix hahah.

I really dislike homework.

I have mastered the art of procrastination and no mater how many times I go back to school, I can never seem to shake it. I was never cut out to be a "life long student.  Mad props to all of you in graduate school, and even more props to those incredible people that take on medical school. I would have never made it. My class down in Maryland is alot harder than I anticipated. I figured it would be small, focused topics, but it is turning out to be more like a whole semester of biology classes. I really shouldn't complain though since I technically am not paying for it and it is only going to better me in my field. 

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. This year, I get to create my (our) very own Christmas. I love the idea of starting new traditions and building our way. We will be celebrating with the Dometitas the weekend before the 25th, and then with the Kanes, the weekend after the 25th.

All in all, sorry about the complaining. 

I will leave you with the things that make me Happy during the wintertime. 

My husband.

Snuggling with blankets on the couch

Family time.

Christmas traditions.

Christmas Trees & Decorations. 

Traveling.

Time is flying...

It is insane how fast time is going by. I guess I have been busy over the past year planning our wedding. Now that it is over, I find myself still so busy.

Married life is amazing. I almost forget sometimes that we are married... just because it all happened so fast. The wedding was beautiful; more than I could have ever imagined. I look back at the actual wedding day and it seems like it went so fast, even though it was such a long day(7am-midnight). The beautification with my lovely ladies, all of the pictures, the ceremony and reception... it really just flew by. I’m so glad I was able to have a photographer and a videographer to capture all of the little moments. It’s funny how much you actually don't see because you are busy being the "bride and groom". There are so many people to talk to and so much zooming around that you actually miss a lot. But in all of the day, there is more than you could ever absorb.. SO many emotions, smiles, and love bursting out of you. The video that my brother did captured all of those emotions; the nerves, excitement, joy, and pure love. If you haven't seen it, please check it out. It is incredibly beautiful, and I am truly thankful that Jeffrey blessed us with such a wonderful wedding present.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63z8oza2-qo&feature=youtu.be

It has almost been two months, and every night when I go to bed, I know that I have the man of my dreams right next to me. Forever. I am so excited to see what the future has in store for us.

The Big Countdown..

Where has the time gone?
I feel like it was just yesterday that I moved up North. At that time, I was worried about starting up in a new state, finding a job, and settling in. It has been over a year, and boy has it flown by. I guess I should update everyone on what is happening... and if you are my facebook friend, you will have noticed that all I talk about is the wedding... Well, it has taken over my everyday life and I don't mind it! I am actually very stress free due to having a wedding planner, but there are still lots of little things to do. To all you future brides, I advise you to get a wedding planner, it is an amazing feeling to know that on the day of the wedding, all you have to do is show up, and none of your loved ones have to do any setting up. I cant even begin to tell you how invaluable it is. Back to what has happened in the last year.

• I got a job at the same hospital as Dan... Geisinger Medical Center's Weis Center for Research. Although it was a rough start, I am finally getting into the groove of it all. It is hard initially figuring out a new boss... I think that was the toughest adjustment.. and it is still a work in progress, but I am soooooo blessed to have this job.
• I got engaged! DUH! This happened back in October 2012. I then set out to plan a wedding in 11 months.
• I got accepted into a year long graduate level course down near DC in which I will gain more hands on, technical training, which will in turn raise my pay in the coming years... also, Geisinger covers 85% of the bill, which is very pricey. So I will be taking this course in which i will have labs down in dc a few times a month... I am always excited to learn more and improve my technique! ( this starts the week after the wedding) 
•  Dan and I are excited to purchase our first house. This should happen shortly after our wedding, and I am excited to start a new life together!
•  Last but not least, we are down into the "teens" as far as the countdown is concerned. I am so excited to have a vacation down in NC and see all of my friends and family.

Moving NORTH...

Time seems to go by so quickly these days. I feel like I just graduated... but in reality, it has been quite a  while.  I am moving to Danville, PA the first weekend of May. It feels weird only having one week left at work. I am taking a leap of faith and moving without having a job. My hope is that I will find one easier once I am up there( and be able to set up interviews more easily). 

The coming 2 months are going to be a whirlwind. Between moving, Dan's Cruise and Guys trip to Vegas, My trip home to Jacksonville, Dan's Graduation, and Wedding in Charleston...WE HAVE SO MUCH GOING ON.  The next couple months will be exciting at least. I am so very proud of Dan and all of his hard work.

Moving is bittersweet. I have done it many times before(over 10 times since high school). I actually hate the process of moving. Being older, it is very hard to make friends. I always find myself making friends, and then having to leave them. But that is life. I am very excited to be living so close to Dan. I cannot even begin to describe how much I despise long distance. I will never ever deal with long distance again. BUT I will miss the South something fierce. I really do love the South... honestly, southern hospitality is not a myth. I LOVE IT. But I also am excited for cooler weather( I hate sweating).

Most of all,  I will miss my family. I know that living in Raleigh, I did not get to see my parents all that often, But just knowing there were only two hours away was such a relief.... But at least it is only a short one hour flight home. GOSH, I LOVE MY FAMILY...

BUT I HAVE TO FOLLOW MY HEART... DR. DAN STOLE IT. <3

1st Blog!

Soooo, I am going to give this BLOG thing a shot. Even if no one else reads it, it might be nice to get everything out of my head.

I guess this blog will encompass the random ideas in my head, but more importantly will follow me on my journey into the real world.... aka finding a real job.

I knew this process would not be easy in the least, but I definitely did not think it would be as hard as I am finding it, especially with a degree. For those of you who don't know me, I recently graduated from NCSU(North Carolina State University) with a BS in Biological Sciences. I am not a normal college graduate, but one who has many years of life under the belt. After some life lessons and some time working in South Carolina, I returned to the better Carolina to finish up my degree. So now I find myself about to follow the man I love to Pennsylvania....

When you think of PA, you think if big cities like Philly or Pittsburgh.... but that is not where I will be heading. Danville, Pa is where I will be. If you have never heard of it, it is a very small city! But this man that I speak of has an amazing job lined up, so off I follow.

Well as my countdown to the move clicks away(May 31st), my nervousness and excitement increases..... TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!