The Art of RSVP'ing

Recently I read a blog post that was floating around Facebook, " 6 Reasons my Husband and I Probably Won't Attend Your Event...". It is about how one woman feels regarding events and her family life. Although some of her comments may be funny, the jist of the article rubbed me the wrong way. Before I start my response, if you dont know me, I am married with a toddler (14 months).  If you haven't read it, go ahead, otherwise you may not know what I am referencing. 

Just to recap, the  reason for writing the blog was because the author missed two “important events” that she  was "actually invited to, RSVPd for, and expected to attend”. 

Now here is the point of my response… Don’t RVSP “yes” to an event unless you know you are definitely able to attend. The art of RSVP’ing seems to have fallen by the wayside. But if you have ever planned a wedding or a big party, you should know that big events are not cheap. You have to account for food, place settings, materials, equipment and so much more. When you say you are going to an event, and then don't go, you caused the host a great deal of money. It is absolutely inconsiderate to respond  to an event and then not go (unless you have an emergency). 

Ok, now to to touch on the topics that were discussed in the blog listed above... 

• Yes, kids are unpredictable, and often cause glitches in plans, but once again, if you dont have a reliable stack of babysitters lined up, just don't plan to go to the event. At least book a babysitter before you send in your rsvp. You know you have a kid before you RSVP. 

• Yes, Kids are exhausting and will leave you tired, but I can almost guarantee, a night out sans baby is good for the soul. People underestimate the power of a date night. For me, it is just as/if not , more refreshing than sleeping.

• Even if you are married, you do not have to skip an event if your partner is busy. For example, this November, I will be attending a wedding of a close friend and my husband cannot get off work. I love my husband, but just because he cannot go, doesn’t mean i should skip the event.

• The authors 5th point just kills me. She states that she has a “financial budget and priorities"  yet by not showing up to someones event that she rsvped  “yes” for,  she is causing her friend's money. Parties and weddings are not cheap for the person throwing them. Just because they are spending money on an event doesn’t mean the host wants to toss money down the drain. 

• The 6th point really makes me disgust the author. “ We just dont want to go!” Is the worst excuse I have ever heard… Once again, lady, YOU said you were going to the event, and RSVP’ed yes… maybe you should have thought about that before you responded “Yes”.

Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you have to become a recluse who is inconsiderate of others feelings and expenses. Kids are hard, i won’t deny that, but it is people like this who ruin all the fun for parents everywhere. If you are a parent who wants to stay home and sleep, good for you. There is nothing wrong with that. All you non parent friends out there, please don't assume that just because your friends have kids means they can’t go out or come to your party. Thank God for babysitters. Please remember next time your rsvp to someones event, there is really a point to it… save your friends trouble and be straightforward.

The Next Chapter

Today is the end of a chapter. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new one. It is hard to believe I have been a mom for over 11 months now. If you count growing baby B, almost 2 years... Monday morning will be a new step for me as a mother.

The past 9 months have been a huge challenge for me. I have dealt with a lot of emotions resulting from being away from Braeden so much. July 20th I begin my new job... a stay at home, jack of all trades, MOM. I am excited and nervous...

Braeden's first day of daycare at 12 weeks!

Being a woman is a tricky, sticky subject. You have lots of different types of women. You have the career oriented woman who beautifully climbs the ladder to success. You have mothers who do part time work. Last but not least, you have full time stay at home moms. The subject can get alittle sticky, but I am glad to say I tried it all out, and eager to start the job I love.

The very first weekend I met Dan, we sat around talking for hours. We discussed the future, each others passions, and pretty much everything under the sun. At the time, I was on hiatus from college, and he asked me what I "wanted to be" when I "grew" up. I point blank told him I wanted to be a mom. That is a really weird thing to say, but I always knew it in the back of my head. In college, I was the "mom" of the group. It came to me naturally.  When I finally finished up college, and moved up North, I started working in research. There is not a whole lot you can do with a bachelors in Biology. I was blessed with a great job at the same hospital as Dan.

 When the day came, and we found out we were expecting, I didn't know what the future held for me. Dan and I decided that it was best for me to continue working a while longer. If you don't know, Residents don't make a lot of money. Actually, they make less than some people with bachelors degrees.  Imagine this scenario... You go to college for 4 years and then medical school for 4 years. During that time, you cannot work. You rack up well over $200,000 in student loans. Then you finally start working and you make barely enough to get by. So needless to say, the second income was  definitely needed to live comfortably.

I pushed through and put in 3 years as a research technician. Although I enjoyed the people I worked with,  I cannot say that I love what I did ( the last year has definitely been better). When the day came that my boss told me he was moving I was kind of relieved. I had never had an "out", and finally, the day came. I was offered a position in the GI clinic, but after talking with Dan, the perfect "pausing" time came into view. I never liked the idea of quitting, but its as if God put everything into place, and the timing could not have been more perfect for this transition. Dan graduated his residency a month before my last day.

I know being a full time mom is a lot of work... probably more work then I am expecting, but I welcome it with open arms. I cannot believe how fast the past 11 months of Braeden's sweet life have gone by. I want to soak in every minute with him. I didn't think it was possible to have so much love in my heart.

So for all of you working momma's who have children. Keep up the good work. You are making a beautiful life for your family. It is incredibly hard to be away from your child, trust me I know.

For all you stay at home momma's. Send on the tips and encouragement. I know it will be a lot of work. I am ready for this next chapter!

Huge shout out to Braeden's sweet teachers over the past 9 months (Dawn, Jamie, Brittany, Carol, Karen, Chelsea, and Jamee) !!!

Learning how to sit up!

Working those leg muscles!

So stylish!

Taking a snooze on the walk!

Santa came to his classroom!

Learning to stand!



Braeden realizes he loves big boy food!



Snuggling on a sick day!

More snoozing!

Learning to hold his own bottle!

He loves to eat!

Art!

Getting ready to start a project!

Where has the time gone?

I know people with kids always give the advice “Cherish this time, it goes by way too fast”… and now, as the mom of an almost 10 month old, I am say “Seriously?!?, where has the time gone?”

The past couple months have flown by. It is crazy to think that I am already planning my itty bitty baby’s 1^st birthday. I feel like I blinked and he grew up. I wanted to do this blog for some time now to update friends and family on how our little Dometita family is doing. I feel as though I haven’t had a spare moment in my day to even sit down and take a breather.

Braeden:

Braeden is growing like a weed. He is one active little guy who is always on the move. He is currently standing on his own and has managed to take 5 steps in a row without falling. He loves eating and will race over to anyone holding food. Daycare calls him the “garbage disposal” because anytime he sees a baby eating, he crawls over and lingers waiting for flying food… haha. Gross, I know. But hey, this kid has put worse things in his mouth. His teething seems to be contributing to his “let me taste this object” phase. God forbid he sneaks into the bathroom and sees the toilet paper roll…lol. He is advancing quite beautifully and Dan and I are really proud. He does not talk much but really gets going with his babbling noises… He does say “Mama” when he is really upset, and we think he says “up”… but the rest of his words are babbles. We are really working on “Dada” and hopefully he will get that by father’s day ;) His most recent checkup (9 months) he weighed 19.5 lbs and is alittle over 27 inches. We have been struggling with ear infections for the last 4 months and are finally going into see a specialist in the next week.It is hard to believe we are starting to plan his first birthday! I cannot believe how fast time is going by.

Mommy:

For those who don’t know yet, I am resigning from my job at Geisinger to be a stay at home mom. I am wrapping up my projects at work and am starting to train my replacements. July 17^th will be my last day. I have learned a lot in the 3 years working as a research technician. I am very excited for this next chapter of our lives, and although I know being a “SAHM” is a lot of work, I look forward to being able to actually spend time as a family when my husband comes home from work instead of our current situation (scrambling to find something to eat, cleaning, prepping for the next workday). It will be nice to have dinner ready and a decently cleaned house, with nothing else to worry about except spending time together.

Daddy:

Dan will be taking the title of “chief resident” starting July. During the year, he will be splitting his time, half will be working as an attending, and the other half will be administration (for the internal medicine residency program). I know this year will be busy for him, but we are excited that he is finally done with “school”.  Although he has been a doctor for 3 years already, he is finally on his own. In the coming year he will be interviewing for positions, fellowships, or other administrative opportunities… we look forward to the future, wherever that may be. I am so proud of all of his hard work. The grueling hours and minimal pay have really been difficult but I look forward to the future, settling down… and to getting these student loans paid off.

Motherhood

* This was written a while ago and I am just now getting a chance to post it*

Yesterday I embarked on a new adventure. I use the word adventure loosely in this context because I usually really enjoy adventures! Maybe I can trick my brain.

Monday, November 10th, Braeden went to his first day of daycare (see the picture to the right). And for me, I went back to work. I took the full 12 weeks of maternity leave, and let me tell you what... It is not long enough. Time went by so incredibly fast. I feel like he was just born yesterday (I know all moms say that).. But for real... it is insane.

My baby boy is growing way to fast. He is over 15lbs now, and growing like a weed. In less than a week he will officially be 3 months old. Unless you have a child already, you will never truly understand how much your life will change when they actually arrive. I feel like my heart is exploding out of my chest with love for this baby boy. Sometimes if i sit and look at him for too long, i begin to cry. He is beyond perfect. What a miracle. *Bias alert*.

So here is a random list of what has changed in the last 3 months.

Motherhood has...

-given me a new sense of patience. Babies are alot of work and sometimes things just take longer than normal.

- taught me not to judge other parents. Sometimes babies just cry, they don’t care if they are at the grocery store, restaurant, or home. It is not always the parents fault.

-made me more emotional. Yes, i know hormones are definitely more out of whack, but whatever. I see sick babies on tv or at work and sometimes i well up with tears. I cannot imagine Braeden in that situation.

-made me more cautious. I never thought I would be the over protective mother, but there are so many things that could go wrong. I just want my baby to be safe. (I’m sure it doesn’t help that this is my first baby)

-made me more appreciative. Once you become a parent, you look back on your own childhood and realize how much your own parents loved you and did for you. The title of "parent" is beyond hard work. Even just the simple act of child birth... gosh, you better run off and tell your mom "thanks". haha.

-made me love harder. Life really is fragile. So many things go wrong... people get sick or accidents happen.. It is all beyond your control. Show the ones that matter the most how much you love them.

 

The Birth (Part 1)

It is hard to believe that Braeden has been with us for almost 4 weeks. Time is flying by and I wish i could slow it down. I wanted to write a blog about the birth, mainly for me, but I have also had some people asking how everything went. I never want to forget any details, so this way I can look back in a couple years and cherish all the little memories surrounding this amazing time in our lives. 

The day before Braeden’s grand entrance:

Friday, August 15th was my due date. I was extremely uncomfortable and was ready to get the show on the road. At this point I had already been having frequent Braxton Hicks contractions for about a week or more. I decided to work up until my due date, so this friday was my last day at work.  I had been trying pretty much every superstitious suggestion that is supposed to get labor progressing including, lots of walking, a little bump and grind ;), and eating pineapple. After work on friday, I told Dan that i wanted to try a few more ideas. We stopped and bought Primrose oil and a special pregnancy tea that contained red raspberry leaf. Dan also preformed accupressure on me that evening (check out some videos on youtube).  We were ready to get this baby out!

The next day, AUGUST 16TH:

I woke up to use the bathroom at around 5:15am. As soon as i set my feet on the ground, my water broke. It was quite the wake up for me as I was not expecting so much fluid to come gushing out. I ran to the bathroom, causing quite the mess, meanwhile screaming for Dan to wake up. There was no second guessing that my water broke… It was not the slow trickle that i was expecting haha. 

Dan was quite frantic as i was just sitting on the toilet letting amniotic fluid come out.. gross, i know, but what else are you supposed to do. I called the hospital and told them that we would be coming in. As Dan packed the last few items for his hospital bag, i hopped in the shower to freshen up… which didn't work so well because amniotic fluid just kept coming out, even when i was checked into the hospital. We stop by Mcdonalds for some breakfast because i knew that once i stepped foot in the hospital, there would be no more food for me. So yes, we took our sweet time getting to the hospital and finally checked in about an hour after my water broke.

At this point, my contractions started getting very painful. During the previous week when I was experiencing my BH contractions, i thought that those were uncomfortable, but boy was I not ready for the pain of real contractions. When they say they are painful, they are not lying. You literally can barely breath through them. 

We checked into the hospital room (which was equipped with a jacuzzi tub and everything) and I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and got my IV set up. Contractions were getting harder and closer together, and after about 3 hours, i gave in and got an epidural. I cannot even begin to explain how painful the contractions were. Before the epidural, i attempted to walk around the room and bounce on a ball, but the contractions didn't seem to hurt me as much when i was sitting in bed. Mad props to all those ladies out there that give birth the natural way. I almost felt guilty about giving into the epidural but after the medicine kicked in, I had no regrets.

The epidural itself was not painful. The hardest part was trying to stay still while they did it. My contractions were very close together at this point so when my contraction came and they were still working on placing the needle, I was trying to stay motionless. The epidural ended up only working on one side of my body. It was very strange because it switched sides 2 times. It was too late for them to try and replace it as Braeden was ready to come out. Even though the epidural only worked on half of the pain, it was definitely worth it. 

At around Noon, the midwife decided to give me pitocin to speed up the process. That definitely kicked my contractions into high gear. Two hours later i was fully dilated and effaced and was ready to push. Pushing with the epidural seemed a little more challenging that i expected. It took me about two contractions to get the feel for how to push effectively. It was the weirdest sensation pushing him out. The best way for me to explain it is if you were severely constipated and you feel like you need to have a bowel movement. Gross, I know, but it was just so much pressure down there, you literally feel like you are taking the biggest poop of your life. Thank goodness I didn’t, as i have heard most women actually do poop during the process of child birth.

I pushed for about 50 minutes. To me, it felt like i pushed for about 20 minutes. My concept of time of the entire day was very off. To me, everything went by so fast. Towards the end of pushing, i was in so much pain and beyond exhausted, I just wanted to get him out. They had to tell me to stop and wait a little bit because i think i was rushing it. 

Dan was a trooper the whole entire time. He helped hold my legs a bit, fed me ice chips, and just was such a support for me. I definitely wasn't the nicest to him haha. I was so hot that when he touched my arm, his hands were even hotter than me so i told him not to touch me at one point haha. I also yelled at him because when he went to give me a cold wet washcloth, he attempted to wipe my face with it and apparently i didn't want my makeup smeared haha. Its silly to look back on it now. There are a lot of things i would have changed though. I would have had dan video the labor… although it would have been disgusting im sure, i would have liked to at least remember the moment when he came out and was placed on me. I think next time i would maybe even hire a photographer or someone close to us to take pictures. Dan did take a few pictures but it makes me sad that we didn't get to capture both of our reactions to his grand entrance. I don’t ever want to forget how it felt when he was placed on my chest for the first time. Nothing can ever describe how it felt. It was one of the best moments of my life. Another thing i regret is when the midwife asked if i wanted to “feel his head” just moments before he came out, i said no because I just wanted to “get him out”. I wish i would have taken the second to feel it, even if it was gross. 

Braeden was born at 3:09 pm. They placed him on my chest and i was so nervous because i didn't know how to hold him. I just kept crying and saying “he’s so perfect”, over and over again. They quickly realized he wasn't crying and rushed him over to the baby heater area and did some things to him. This scared dan and i as we didn't know what was going on. They didn't even let dan cut his cord because they had to get him over there so quickly. Apparently he breathed in some amniotic fluid. They got him all fixed and cleaned up a bit and brought him back to me. What an incredible moment… laying there with a baby on your chest, realizing that you made this creature with the person you love most in the world… we made this baby, and he is ours. 

Our lives were instantly changed. We became a mother and a father in that moment. There is nothing that can compare. I sit here typing this blog and I cannot help but constantly look over at my baby boy laying in his bouncer. He is such a miracle. I cannot believe we were so blessed to be his parents. Mr. Braeden Jaxon has forever changed us. This is the definition of LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

Ready or Not, Braeden is coming... SOON.

We officially have 2 weeks left before D-day... give or take a week.  The scariest part for me is not knowing exactly when it will happen. I have always loved the anticipation before receiving gifts but this time it is alittle different. There are so many things that we will be surprised with. Obviously we know we are having a boy ( that would be a disaster if it ended up being a girl haha)... but we don't know when he is coming, how big he will be, if he will be healthy, what he will look like, or if labor will go according to plan. All of those variables have left me wondering and a bit anxious.

I have been trying to keep myself busy so i dont' panic, but its so weird that in just 2 short weeks, our life will FOREVER be different. It is scary to think about how much will change. I hope we are ready for it.  Either way, he is coming!

Ever since i was little, i wanted to be a mom. I loved playing dolls, loved taking care of my sister when she was born (she is seven years younger than me), and loved babysitting.  Even in college, i was always the "Momma" of the house. Whenever we would go to parties, I would make sure everyone had everything, went to the bathroom, and kept all of the purses.  I just loved making sure everyone was happy and safe. When I first met Dan, he asked me what i wanted to "be when i grow up" kind of.... At the time, i was halfway through college, and Im pretty sure my response was "a mom". Im sure that sounds weird, especially when first meeting someone, but it was the honest truth. I have always just wanted to be a mom.

But now the time is actually here. I am about to be a MOM. I am honestly scared out of my mind. Don't get me wrong, I have also never been more excited in my entire life, but its hard not knowing all the variables. How will Braeden's life be? Will we raise him right? What if i mess up?

All of these insecurities rush into my head. When the time is here, i am hoping and praying that everything will come natural. I already find myself praying for him... for his health, safety, wisdom, and happiness. All i really can do is love him and Im sure everything will fall into place.

Ready or Not, its almost time. We cant wait to meet him...  I have been waiting for him my whole  entire life. 

Here is a sneak peak at my hospital bag!

 Toiletries:

I'm sure i wont get to use the majority of it, but I figured i wanted to just in case.

-toothbrush, floss, mouthwash, dental floss

-olay face wipes

-contacts, solution, and case

-deodorant and perfume

-shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and lotion

-heavy pads and nipple cream
-comb, extra rubberband, headband, and claw
-also, breast pads are packed but not pictured

Makeup bag:

 with the bare minimums!

Clothing:

-Thin bathrobe ( incase i want to cover up when visitors come in)

-lightweight pj's

-nursing bra and granny panties

-2 pairs of fuzzy socks (non slip)

-Going home comfy maxi dress

Baby Items:

So i have heard that my hospital sends you hope with tons of products including diapers, wipes, and lots of other goodies. Here is what i packed for Braeden.

- a couple outfits

(real simple onesies, and then a little polo and shorts)

-mits and paci

-light weight muslin blanket

Extras:

- A foldable, large recycleble bag (to bring home freebies and gifts)

-a small notepad and pen (for jotting down notes, gifts, etc)

-headphones

-camera and charger

-cell phone charger

Things not pictured:

Dan's bag: Change of clothes for Dan, his toiletries,  our fancy camera and charger, ipad and charger, and a Pillow.

I would love to hear if I am missing anything major. I will do another blog after the birth saying things i wish i left at home and things i wish i brought.  At least we live about a 1/4 mile from the hospital ;)

Braeden's Nursery Tour

Welcome to Braeden's Nursery tour! My cousin just posted a blog about her daughters room and I loved the idea so much that i had to copy her hehe.. Thanks Nichole! Since all of my friends and family are so far away I thought it would be cute to snap some pictures of what we have done so far. 

Since we were unable to paint the walls, Dan and I decided to add some color by doing a few craft projects. Dan actually helped me paint these letters for above his crib. It turned out well, minus the freehand pokadots on the "A".. but I love it regardless because "Daddy" put all his love into it. 

We decided to go with black furniture (I will explain more later). This crib we got a really good deal on. It was very easy to put together. We had a hard time deciding on a theme for the nursery but finally compromised on a baby dinosaur theme. We did not buy a standard crib set but rather just bought a few small blankets with dinosaurs on them. (the white bar will hold the mobile which is currently being worked on).

The dresser was quite the project. We decided on it because it was economical but it was quite the bit of work to put together. I am very glad we did not wait until the end of the pregnancy to put it together. It came with a million parts and even more scews, bolts, etc. At the end of the day (5 hours later), we had it finished... I must say we made quite the team on putting it together! It currently holds diapers, wipes, and a bunch of clothing that doesnt need to be hung up.

These little guys are one of the other simple projects Dan and I made. When I say easy, I mean really easy and cheap. We printed the chevon onto colored paper and then printed the dinos onto blue paper and cut them out. We just put them in simple frames I had laying around. 

This black trunk is the my reason for doing all of the furniture black. This trunk is the most sentimental piece in the nursery. It was my Grandmothers (Kane) and one of my favorite things at her house. I love it! The stuffed animals are all mine, but i figured they fit better in Braeden's room now hehe.  (oh and there is our "Mamaroo" on the left. We are very excited about that little high tech swing/bouncer. 

Here is the corner of the room with the glider. This glider was the most expensive piece of furniture in the nursery but I wanted to find something that was comfortable and cute. The yellow blanket was made by my Aunt Chrisann and I love it so much! I love the thought and love put into gifts like that. The dinosaurs on the wall are decals that we found at target that added some color to the bland wall.  

I decided to take the doors off the closet because they were bothersome to slide open. We were blessed with lots of items from our baby showers. 

and here we have my giraffe that Dan bought me this past valentines day, the sock monkey for my God mother, Diane, and the Lion Pillow from Lola Dometita. I would have loved to do a giraffe theme but we had to compromise somewhere hehe. Now all we need is our little bubsie boy to go in here! We are so excited to meet Braeden in a couple weeks!!!